This is going to sound strange, be prepared for strangeness. The simple fact is the men in this family have always had the ability to. How many prostitutes will you need to talk to before this issue is solved? Dad: This is an odd moment for me because I had the same moment with my father when I'd just turned 21, and after it, my life was never the same so I approach it pretty, um, nervously. I'm here to celebrate true love not scribble my illegible signature on stupid bits of paper that you can flog on eBay so that at the next wedding you can wear a less hideous hat. I'm not particularly proud of many things in my life, but I am very proud to be the father of my son. And this is a kind man with a good heart. We all get old and tell the same tales too many times. I'd only give one piece of advice to anyone marrying. King, obviously, and this young man here. My dad was a frosty bugger so that only leaves dear Uncle Desmond, B.B.

But, important first is to say the one big thing. Later on I may tell you about Tim's many failings as a man and as a table tennis player.

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